Happy Birthday

It was her eyes, their shade of burnt ochre that burned its way into my mind. It was when she gazed into my eyes that we embraced for the first time. That’s when I knew. It was not merely their color, but the immeasurable depth of her eyes that filled me with an equally immeasurable sense of awe. All around us was squall, but she was shelter.

The world was a sensory overload, blinding, chaotic, unforgiving, unrelenting. The only reaction that occurred to me was to cry. So I did. Oceans rolled out from my eyes and she was there to calm the tide. She was able to transform the cacophonous carillons crashing in my head into melody.  When all seemed lost, she knew just how to find it.

Deprived of her, my world just seemed so empty and miserable. In honesty, there was nothing seemingly worth the effort necessary to press forward. The instant that thought came upon me was that in which her strength flowed into me. I felt her aura augmenting mine, imbuing me with the capacity to achieve my dreams, to follow my passions, to inspire and intrigue. Ultimately, my actions were my own, but without her as the impetus and wisest influence, there was no reason to fight for the things I now hold dear.

And then, I saw her tenacity falter. It happened in just a moment, but that’s all it took. The rush was too much to handle and the cracks in her innermost self would give way to rifts, from which poured out the essence of despair. All this time, I thought she had an endless amount of vigor which she could lend to others. But that’s when I realized she, too, was affected by the constant bleakness of the world. No one, not even her, was immune. What was I to do? Give up?

No. I knelt down beside her and gave her back the strength she gave me. I returned all of the years of comfort and joy she infused within my soul. She gave me the capacity to stand up to everything life had thrown at me, and now I was there for her.

And when it was all said and done, when equilibrium was once again achieved and a sense of equanimity returned, we looked into each other’s eyes. Amidst the tears, I saw within her eyes the same thing I saw those years ago. I knew, at that point, why she spent all that time imparting unto me the capacity to press forward to the end of each and every day. Her desire was to see in my eyes the same level of devotion, of compassion, of understanding, of exuberance that I saw within hers.

It was her eyes, perihelion to her heart. That’s when I knew I loved her.


For Sonia

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