A Snake Called Obsession

Let me tell you something, man.

People say that obsession is extreme dedication, that it’s love and devotion on a huge scale. No no no no no. Obsession is a fucking snake. I’ve seen it.

And you’ll see it, too. Next time you think about that new video game you bought, or that new album you started listening to, or that smoking hot chick who sits across from you in Ethics. The next time you think about any of those things, just look carefully around you, and you’ll see it. You’ll see it coiling around, surrounding you like a never-ending storm. And you wait for the tail to come and for that giant goddamn snake to just end. But it doesn’t. It just keeps going and going, until it’s completely surrounded you on all sides, until all you can see are it’s fucking scales and all you can feel is dark and cold, like being buried in snow.

That’s when shit gets crazy, though. The scales begin to change. Their color shifts, from blue to red to green to colors you can’t even recognize. The scales become smooth, and the cold and dark that was surrounding are replaced by a soothing warmth and a soft light. Then, your eyes glaze over and all you can see is that game you were fantasizing about…what was it called? Dragon Age: Inquisiton or some shit like that? Anyway, it becomes sacred, a Holy fucking Grail, suspended in front of you, close enough to where you can see it but never reach it. So you keep reaching for it, because you think it’s your salvation or something. And it becomes all you CAN think about.

That game’s all you ever end up talking about. It’s the first thing you think of when you wake up and the last thing you think of when you fall asleep. You become dirty, your clothes super-wrinkled. You smell like curdled milk and sweat, like you haven’t showered in weeks. You start wearing weird shirts with obscure references that only you’d get and putting goddamn Inquisitor buttons and pins on your backpack and jacket, and who-knows-where-else. And don’t get me started on those glasses. You stay up too late reading fan-fictions online about Cassandra Pentaghast, and so you start wearing glasses to compensate. Those glasses have rose-colored lenses, man.

It’s a sickness that completely envelops you. It’s a stranglehold by a serpent that won’t let you go. Take a look at Lee. He hasn’t talked about anything but Mass Effect for the past two months! Don’t tell me that something isn’t wrong with him. Oh sure, you say you see a glint in his eyes, but all I see are those goddamn scales reflected back at me. It freaks me out, man. And when you talk to him about anything else, try to get him to move onto something different like martial arts or cooking, try to get rid of those things he’s obsessed over, he responds like they all do: “Don’t take this away from me! I need this!”

Don’t ever feed it. That’s how the snake survives: it feeds on your obsessions. Once it encircles you, it never has to sink its fangs in you because you already belong to it. It gains strength the longer you are trapped within it. So how do you get out from its grasp, or how do you avoid it in the first place?

Simple: don’t think about it. Just don’t obsess over that stupid game. It’s just a game, it’s probably not that important in the long run. Just focus on the important things in life, like family and health, and don’t concentrate on stupid shit, like Nostalgia Critic or Chopped. Because when you start obsessing over those things that are a waste of time and energy, that’s exactly how the snake gets you.


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